


Loser Falls First

by TeacupPup



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Attempt at Humor, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Gay Keith (Voltron), Klance Week 2018, M/M, Romance, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-03
Updated: 2018-08-03
Packaged: 2019-06-21 01:38:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15546780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeacupPup/pseuds/TeacupPup
Summary: Pidge, having practiced the art of being a devil since the dawn of time, exploits Keith and Lance into a bet that neither can win. On one hand, there's Lance: a loud, bubbling source of energy that lights up the room and breathes life into any party, but whose hesitant to get close to anyone after a past destructive breakup. On the other hand, Keith is a puzzle of paint and moody outbursts who denies needing anyone in his life. Through a series of circumstances the two become college roommates, and despite their rivalry and aversion towards each other, there's no denying that there's chemistry.So thus Pidge makes a separate, irrestible bet with both.For Lance to win: He must survive the entire semester without falling for Keith.For Keith to win: He must survive the entire semester without falling for Lance.And if they lose, Pidge has devious terms in mind. But how can someone who's so unbearably annoying, so polarizing different from them, ever, ever be someone they'd fall in love with?





	Loser Falls First

Chapter 1: From Here

“Why did it sound so familiar when you said my name? / Why is it that from worlds away, I feel your hand against my face? / Why is it that when morning comes, it makes this feeling fade away? / How did I have no idea that I needed you? / My world ended once but began again, borne from just us two.”

***

 

“Okay, okay, what about this one?” Lance closed his eyes and dramatically took in a deep breath. When he opened them, his head is tilted down so his eyes appear lidded, and his mouth is curved in a sultry smile. “Your eyes are blue, like the ocean. And baby, I’m lost at sea.” To his left, he heard a obnoxiously exaggerated snort that zapped him out of concentration. “Hey!” He snapped, rounding on Pidge. “That line is a classic!”

 

“Classically old and overused,” Pidge said. She plucked a donut hole off of Lance’s plate and before he can protest Hunk cuts in.

 

“I can’t use it anyway, you guys; Shay’s eyes are hazel.” Hunk squirmed and poked the straw sticking out of his frozen mocha.

 

“Relax! If there’s anyone good at this whole asking-chicks-out-thing, it’s me.” Lance stretched out against the booth and smiled as Hunk’s shoulders relaxed a little. “How about this one?”

 

“Urgh, not again…” Pidge groaned, the donut in her mouth muffling her words. She clasped her hands together and bowed. “Please spare us, mighty chick catcher. Our people cannot take the torture of your awful pickup lines any longer!”

 

Lance shoved her back into the booth. “Whatever, pidget.” He looked Hunk straight in the eyes and it took all the strength he could muster not to burst into laughter. Hunk quirked an eyebrow and took a hesitant slurp of his drink, as though he was skeptical about the nature of Lance's next attempt.

 

Deep breath, deep breath... Lance cleared his throat, trying to make his voice as low and smooth as classic saxophone jazz. He swallowed and looked up at Hunk with a signature Lance McClain wink. “Your ass is so nice that it’s a shame you have to sit on it.”

 

Hunk's mouth opened in shock and his drink sprayed out, covering the table in whip cream and chocolate. Lance and Hunk stared at the mess, both of their jaws dropping, and Pidge, utilizing their shock, scooped the rest of the donut holes off of Lance’s plate. “Hey!” Lance grabbed her arm and wrestled her hand towards her plate. “I paid for those!”

 

She shoved two into her mouth and between the magnified eyes behind her glasses and puffed cheeks she looked exactly like a devious hamster. “Noob you dunn’it!”

 

“Fine! I _worked_ for them!” he huffed. "And let me tell you, my shift wasn't easy!" Meanwhile, Hunk was furiously scrubbing the table with a wad of napkins and muttered something incomprehensible to himself. “You okay buddy? We could try some other pick-up lines if neither of those worked your fancy.”

 

“Lance,-”  Pidge paused to swallow, “-I sincerely doubt you’d use either of those pick-up lines with an actual girl or guy.

 

“I agree with Pidge." Hunk said. "I know you’re like the flirt master and all-” Pidge snorted again “-but both of those would take a lot of guts. Raw guts. And raw guts are messy.”

 

“I could totally actually use those!” He couldn’t help but feel a little frustrated that they were knocking his advice when _he_ was the one who’d been in a relationship before. Lance McClain is the relationship guy! All of his siblings, (well, some of them) always, (well, some of the time) went to him for advice!

 

“Alright then.” Pidge stretched her arms back behind her head and that’s how Lance knew that shit was about to get real. Her smirk was so tiny, so cleverly hidden by the nonchalance in her voice, that most people never would have noticed. But he knew better, he’s Lance fucking McClain, and he wasn’t going to let Pidge slide something like this past him.

 

“‘Alright’ what?” Lance said challengingly.

 

“Guys, I don’t really know what’s going on right now, but I’m getting really strange vibes,” Hunk said. “Pidge? Watcha looking at, buddy?

 

Pidge leaned forward, and much to Lance’s surprise, she was focused on something behind him. He turned around and saw a girl seated at the bar. When he looked back towards Pidge, the grin on her face was insufferable. “Why don’t you show us that your pick-up lines work? Maybe then, Hunk would actually consider using them.”

 

Hunk snorted. “Yeah, right. Don’t you remember the last time he tried doing that? She threw her drink in his face and we had to spend the rest of the night trying to remove the huge blue stain on his shirt because he borrowed it from his sister and-”

 

“Okay, that’s enough!” Lance stood up, straightened out his jacket collar, and rolled his eyes. “Nobody needs to hear the rest of that story again!”

 

Pidge smirked. “And in the end we only managed to make it worse and when she found out-”

 

“Okay, okay! If I go ask her for her number, will you guys shut up about it?”

 

“Maybe,” they both said. And then they fistbumped. Of course.

 

“Alright.” He shrugged, turning on his heel towards the bar. “But if the drink thing happens again, I’m making both of you pay the laundry mat fee.”

 ***

She was nice enough. Her smile was pleasant, and after a minute or two he got her to actually put her phone away. She took the pick-up lines reasonably well, only one eye roll, and she actually laughed at one. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched Pidge and Hunk conspiring, whispering to each other, unwilling to look away. He winked at them when the girl looked away for a moment, and saw them biting their lips to contain their laughter. After she checked the time and left, he dug his coffee receipt out of his pocket to write down her number.

 

When he slid back into the booth, their questions started in an instant.

 

“Did she tell you to fuck off?” Pidge.

 

“Was she smiling? I couldn’t tell if she was sneering or smiling.” Hunk.

 

“Did you tell her it’s a shame she has to sit on her ass?” Pidge.

 

“Do you think Shay would respond well?” Hunk.

 

“So did you even actually get her number, or not?” Pidge.

 

“Yeah, yeah! I got her number! And she was one-hundred percent smiling!” Okay, that was a bit of a lie, but how were they going to know? “And I did in fact tell her the ass line, I think she really liked it-” because rolling your eyes is definitely liking it, right? “- and it’s going to go fine with Shay, buddy! And no, she did not tell me to ‘fuck off’.”

 

“So what’s her number then?” Pidge asked.

 

“It isn’t enough that I got it? You have to know what it is, too?”

 

“I gotta sign up for giveaways somehow.” Pidge shrugged. “Expecting me to use my own phone-number is crazy.”

 

Ugh, they just _had_ to make this difficult. He looked up towards the ceiling and thought for a moment, audibly groaning. He looked back down and took a swig of his now dismayingly cold coffee. “Gah! This is gross now! Look what you guys made me do!”

 

“I told you so, Hunk. Lance didn’t have to guts to do it after all.”

 

He rolled his eyes and collapsed back into the booth. “Don’t listen to her, Hunk! That’s blasphemy.”

 

Hunk shot him a sympathetic shrug. “Not going to believe it till you prove it, dude.”

 

“Fine, whatever!” He dug the receipt out of his pocket. “It’s eight-one-five, nine-three-nine, six-four-zero-zero.”

 

“Dude.” Hunk’s stare was dead-ass-blank. “That’s the number for the Domino’s by your house.”

 

“You shit!” Pidge whacked his arm and he yelped.

 

“Hey!”

 

“You didn’t actually ask her, did you?” Hunk said, but strangely, he sounded more concerned than teasing.

 

“Of course not.” He watched Hunk carefully, unsure of where the conversation was heading and unliking not knowing what kind of water he was treading into. “I’m not wanting to date for a while, so I wouldn’t have texted her, and then she would have wondered why I didn’t text, and I didn’t want to hurt her feelings,” he said with a dramatic shrug at the end.

 

“If that isn’t a straight-up lie, than veggies burgers being absolutely disgusting isn’t either,” Pidge said flatly.

 

“I gotta agree with Pidge. You’re the guy who’s constantly bragging about getting googly eyes, and since when have you rejected the opportunity to flirt?” Hunk cast a sideways frown at Pidge. “And I meant I agree about the first part. I like veggie burgers.”

 

“Whatever guys, sometimes a man needs a little time to focus on number one.”

 

Pidge leaned back against her seat for a second and looked over at the coffee house door, her voice rising an octave from shock. “Holy tortillas, is that Keith?”

 

Lance jolted straight up to his feet and ran a hand through his hair. His heart had skipped a beat- from shock, nothing else, he was so over that moody mullet boy. He glanced over at the door. “Where?” But then it dawned on him that the bell attached to the door hadn’t even chimed. Lance frowned. “Where is he?”

 

Pidge snickered and wiggled her eyebrows. “In your dreams.”

 

“Fuck off, Pidge!” Lance huffed back down into his seat. “Just because I liked him in high school doesn’t mean you still have the right to pick on me for it. I told you, I hate him now anyway, after he showed me up in science class.”

 

“Really?” Hunk asked. “Because after that all you did was talk about him even more.”

 

Lance threw a hand against his chest and mimed being shot. “Betrayed by both of my best friends; what a sad way to die.”

 

Pidge tapped him on the shoulder. “Can I have your xbox after your funeral?”

 

“Wow, the compassion I’m feeling right now is astounding.”

 

“Dude,” Hunk cut in. “If you didn’t want us to tease you about it, you should’ve done a better job hiding it.”

 

“But that was like, fours years ago! It was freshmen year of high school! I haven’t even seen him since he dropped out, and that was like, what? Junior year?”

 

Pidge’s phone buzzed and she pulled it out of her pocket. “Speak of the devil.” She scanned over a couple texts on her notifications screen. Lance tried to read them out of the corner of his eyes but if he leaned any farther over it was going to look suspicious. Suspicious-er.

 

“I didn’t know he texted you still,” Lance said.

 

Pidge half-heartedly shrugged. “There’s a lot of things you don’t know about him.” She started typing away on her screen while Lance sent Hunk an unamused frown; Hunk was just as used to Pidge’s irritating habit of dodging questions.

 

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” Lance pointedly asked, even though he knew he probably wouldn't get an answer.

 

“Is he going back to school?” Hunk asked.

 

“He’s planning on it,” Pidge said. Lance rolled his eyes; of course she'd answer Hunk's question, because she knew it would irritate Lance not to get an answer so she deliberately ignored him, while Hunk wouldn't care that much about being ignored. Thus the response for Hunk. Lance dramatically let his head flop down onto the table and he stared at the floor. “Speaking of school, you’re going to the Honors Invocation, right Hunk?”

 

“UGH!” Lance said. “If you guys are going to start talking about boring smart people stuff, leave me out of it. I’ve got way worse problem than what you two have to deal with. I still haven’t found a roommate yet. If I can’t by next week I’m going to get randomly assigned to one, and I’ll probably be stuck with an axe wielding murderer or someone with a clown fetish.”

 

Pidge laughed and patronizingly patted his shoulder. “Poor, poor Lance,” she said. “Maybe you and Bobo the clown can have study parties together.”

 

“You can teach him how to brew an espresso shot and he can teach you how to tie balloon animals,” Hunk added. He fistbumped Pidge and they laughed despite Lance’s objections.

 

“I’m serious, guys! I could have to live with a kleptomaniac for months or maybe even an arso- what are you looking at, Hunk?”

 

Hunk was leaning out of the booth so far that he was almost falling out of it. “Somebody outside. To be honest it really looks like… No, it can’t be.” The bell tied to the coffee house door chimed and he immediately pulled back into the booth. “Mullet boy’s here,” he announced, shooting a meaningful grin and Lance.

 

“Oh come on, Hunk, just because I used to like him like _five years_ ago doesn’t mean you can use it to toy with me.”

 

“No, seriously.” Hunk glanced at the door again and hesitantly raised his hand, as if he wasn’t sure if he should wave or not. “Turn around, it’s Keith.”

 

Lance huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m not falling for that again. I’m not a gullible, lovesick puppy, guys. You won’t get me to turn around even if you- OW!” Lance rubbed his cheek, where a donut hole had been lobbed at his face. “That’s such a waste of confectionary goodness, Hunk!”

 

“Nice throw,” someone said, over the sound of Pidge muttering “I was going to let him suffer.”

 

Lance looked up and eyed the speaker as blood rushed to his cheeks. He had a pretty good idea whose stupid mullet he was going to be looking up into.

 

“Thanks,” Lance said. The realization that _he_ hadn’t thrown anything and that the comment was directed at Hunk hit him like a semi going seventy miles per hour. He had a split quarter of a second to take the ball back into his court and fix it- shit what to say, what to say- “I mean thanks for showing up, loser! We were having a perfectly good coffee date without you!”

 

Nailed it.

 

Keith grimaced and buried his hands into the pockets of his aviator jacket. “Who are you again?”


End file.
